Woke Up In A Panic Saying "What the 'H' did I do?"

First I'd like to say hello to JEAN! My first customer, what do you call someone who is following your blog? Follower? That sounds too cultish. How about my first 'disciple', yes that's much better, insert smirk face here. JEAN I will name my first born after you. HA! Joke's on you, there isn't gonna be any childrens coming outa these old dried up prunes for ovaries, no siree.

Secondly, as you can see, I changed the look of the blog, got rid of the TV, it was too confusing and I didn't want to futz around, so it's plain. Maybe someday when I get all computer savvy, I'll change it.

So yes, I woke up this morning thinking, "jeepers, why did I tell the world  I'm a G.D. House Cleaner? WHY? (Okay not the world, but Jean...for now, the WORLD will be mine soon, yes you will! But don't worry WORLD, I'll take good care of you. I'll put you on my shelf and dust you once a week and give you water when you need it and I promise not too let my cat play with you. But I digress)  I don't usually tell people, I'm a house cleaner. I usually say to people, "I'm a writer" or "I'm an actor" and whenever I say those two sentences i get a sick feeling in my stomach.  I feel like a fraud. Why?  I mean, I DO act and I DO write. I think it's because , when I hear someone say that I think "BORING another person who thinks they're an "actor" and a  "writer" please spare me your silly dream".

Can one call themselves something that doesn't give them enough money to live on?  After I tell a person, "I'm an actor/writer" I get, "so how do you make your money?" I usually scream, "Someone is behind you with a knife and they look like they mean business!" and when they turn around, I'm gone. When that fails, then I have to confess, "Um I have a house cleaning business" HA! "House cleaning business" what a load of crap.  Seriously Julie?  "business", I only say that too make myself sound more, what,  important?  HA!!! Important. Yes, I'm a high class cleaner, I use only green products and I'm almost fluent in English.  I'm such an assh#$%le. I scrub peoples floors for money!  I don't carry a brief case, I carry a mop. Yep. Whatevs. Well not no more, right? because that's what this blog is about, me changing all that?  Me not cleaning anymore, but doing only what makes me feel good, right?

In Law of Attraction (L.O.A.) they say, "pay attention to your feelings". I am and right now I feel like poo. I'm all insecure about this blog and revealing too much of my stupid life (You'll forgive me, I'm trying not to swear. I'm a swearer, a bad swearer and I made a commitment to not swear in my blog).  LOA says's "don't live in reality". That's wicked freaking hard, yo.  So I want to be honest with ya'll, but I'm struggling with being honest and still trying to not live in reality. But this blog is about my journey to getting what I want. So I'm just gonna keep writing. I'm going to try and not edit myself too much and I hope that's fine with you.

OKAY SOMETHING JUST HAPPENED! I was in the process of previewing this, to post and my husband said, "you know that house you we looked at?"  I was all, "You mean the one that is perfect in every way? Accept it's too expensive?" and he was all , "Yep" and I was all, "what about it?" and he said, "they dropped the price by $80,000" and I was "WHAT?" That doesn't happen! It's only been on the market for like a week and a half!  I must tell you, this is one of the things I've been focusing on and thinking about. I've been imagining myself in the house, having a Christmas party (I freaking love Christmas btw, you'll learn that later) and BBQ's and sitting outside on the patio writing. Having friends stay in our extra two bedrooms! I've just been daydreaming about it (which is what I'm supposed to be doing)  I'm so over the moon right now. Just wanted to let you know. Thanks!