I Farted At The Gym

Firstly, let me say "hey, hey, hey" to Jean, Carol and Ham, my three followers (that word is still weird to me).

So yeah, I farted at the gym and I'm sorry, but I'm not going to apologize for it. I'm only going to apologize for not apologizing.  It was a little, you know, ppht, barely audible, well at least I thought so, because I was wearing my noise cancelling headphones, which brings up the question, if one farts and cannot hear it, did a tree fall in the forest? The answer is, there is no answer for such a deep philosophical question.

After I did it (blow-poo'd as the Irish say) I looked up and in the mirror, a dude on the machine next to me was looking at me smiling broadly. HEY! I can't help that he doesn't wear fart noise canceling headphones! I should've just laughed with him and said, "Mexican food", but no I walked away quickly, all embarrassed.

You're wondering, why is she bringing this up and what does this have to do with living joyously for goodness sakes? Well, I'll tell you.  It was how I handled it. I was dishonest about it. Walking away.  What I should have done, and what I will do in future (I eat a lot of Mexican.....FOOD! Not people, although I'm sure the Mexican people taste delicious!) what I will do in the future is stand proudly and yell, "YEP I FARTED, AREN'T I ADORABLY HUMAN?" and then after the staff has told me to leave, I can say, "THEY CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH" because I like to quote Jack Nicholson movies. And then I'd say to myself, "look at you Julie, being all honest and stuff, owning up to your humanness aren't you the shiznit?" And I'll answer, "yes, and don't forget adorable!".

What I'm finding out about myself through this blog thang, is, that I don't want to lie anymore. I feel like I cover  "the truth" about myself with humor, if I joke about it, for instance if I say, "One thing I'm not proud of is my herpes. Don't get me wrong, I used to be, but now everyone I've slept with has them. It's just not cool anymore." (Oh did I mention I occasionally do stand up?) A person will think, ha! A joke! It's not real! But is it? Only me and my vagina know for sure...and my doctor, she knows. Okay, so I don't have herpes. The point is, if I did I'd want to be honest about it. Now, I almost wish I DID have herpes, so I could be honest about it, and you (my three followers) will be all, "wow, Julie is so honest, I admire that...and she's pretty adorable too".

My point is that, I'm going to try and not cover the truth in this blog. To be honest and forthright. I don't want to bog myself down trying to be funny writing this. It's about my experiences of trying to live joyfully and if I'm always worrying about, "is that funny?" Then it'll end up not being as joyful.  Does that make sense?

So 'afore I go, one really joyful thing that happened yesterday was of course (if you've read the previous posts) The house we are interested in came down $80,000. The house was on the market 5 days! 5!  So anyway, what my task now is, to keep thinking happy thoughts about living in that house. In reality the house is still above our price range, but the Laws Of Attraction say that is of no consequence. I just need to vibrate my way into it. The "manager" (The Universe) is taking care of it, so I don't have to. So that's what I'm doing ya'll, I'm vibrating.  I know some of you are thinking, "whatever Perkins" and that's cool. But let's see what happens, shall we?  I'm gonna go vibrate now.