A Syphilitic Hobo & A Proctologist Walk Into A Bar

Think of the Universe as your very own Personal Assistant. But not just any Personal Assistant, the BEST, SMARTEST, MOST CLEVER, INVENTIVE, MAGICAL, SEXIEST W/ GREAT SMELLING BREATH, Personal Assistant in the world. WHATEVER you tell them to do, they do, no questions asked, accept, don't ask them to do windows. As I found out, that's the one thing they will NOT do. Whatever Personal Assistant, you think you're better than me? But I digress...

The thing about this magical P.A. is that they respond to what you think about. If you think about abundance (without resistance), they will give you more of that. If you think about lack, they will give you more of that. They don't judge what you think about, they just give you more of it. AND because this P.A. is so perfect, you don't need to know HOW he/she will give you what you want or make what you want happen, seriously, don't even try, just know, if you want it and have no resistance to getting it, then it shall be.

I'm working on feeling abundant. Last night I went out and decided that in my head (okay a warning; this is gonna sound crazy, like seriously, like, "holy crap, Julie has lost her mind" kind of crazy, like, being found wandering in a grocery store naked babbling about the end of the world, crazy.) But in my head I decided that I was a wealthy doctor, specifically a proctologist. I walked around thinking, "I'm abundant, because I check men's assholes for money, all day". And at first it was awesome. I looked in store windows and thought, I could buy that if I wanted to or I'm pay for my friends dinner, because I'm a wealthy Proctologist!

Butt (pun intended) then I started thinking, "wow, being a proctologist is a drag, nobody likes their Proctologist. No one ever say's, "Hey I'm gonna go see my Proctologist today,Yipee!! I love my Proctologist!" So I had to stop.

ANYWAY, my point is...my point is...what is my point? Oh, I know, be careful what you wish for? No, that's not it. My point is be grateful for what you have, well that's nice I guess, but that's not really my point. My point is, I don't really have one, but I do recommend, pretending.

Pretend in your head you already have what you want. Feel what it would be like. Hey it's Halloween, what better time to pretend? Just don't pretend you're an syphilitic hobo (that's MY costume this year).

You want better health? Pretend you are healthy. You want money? Pretend you have money. You want to be a Proctologist? Pretend you are, IN YOUR HEAD, not for reals because you could get in a shit-load (pun not intended) of trouble. Do all of this pretending in your skull.

If you want financial abundance, put on a nice outfit, walk around expensive stores, feel like you belong there. OR if you are in pain, go to the gym, feel healthy. Feeling anxious? Wrap an orange sheet around yourself then go to the airport and chant. do whatever you need to do to feel what it would be like to have what you want to have, s'all I'm sayin'.