Penultimate Cleaning Job

Yip-frickin-pee, just finished my second to last cleaning job!

Since I wrote the "I'm a Poser" post & decided to definitely quit my job, I cannot believe how fast things are coming. Truly, I'm freaking out a little. I didn't expect this, well, I did, but I didn't. I hoped for it, I must have thought it was possible or I wouldn't have done it, right? Why am I asking you? See? Told you I was freaking out!

When I decided to begin this, Year Of Living blah, blah, blah project, where I would quit my "money" job and begin living more joyously and focusing on abundance and choosing to feel better, and just by doing those things, that in a year I would be making a living at writing and performing and I would have 1 million dollars in my bank account. It's happening you guys, no word of a lie.

If you've been following my posts then you know about the house buying saga. So yesterday we went to look at the house I've been focusing on and whilst we were there, our agent said, "hey I'm headed over to this other place, it's an amazing deal, want to see it?", "yes", said we. So, we're buying that house.  He was right it is an unbelievably amazing deal and much larger/better than the house I've been focusing on. Did I mention we've been looking a year with no luck?? Now suddenly in 3 weeks, just since I've started this blog & focusing blah-bidee-blah, 3 viable houses have cropped up, each one a better opportunity than the last.  Again, is it Law Of Attraction?  Who knows.  But whatever it is, I be liking it. I'm gonna go focus going to the gym now. See you tomorrow (or maybe Monday, tomorrow is last job day and wine tasting day).

I Won $44 Million Dollars!!!

Okay, so no I didn't win $44,000,000 but I'm acting as if I did.  And no, I'm not wiping my butt with money...yet.  But I am getting into the feeling of what it would it would be like to clean my freshly poo'd fanny with Uncle Sam's own currency. I'll  use quarters, it's cheaper.

Yesterday I purchased a lottery ticket and you all know how that works, you buy the ticket and BAM instant millionaire. And as soon as 11 pm rolls around, it's SEE YA, SUCKERS! I know, I know, it doesn't actually work that way. Or does it? No. Julie, are you sure? Yes um, sort of...no, well, maybe, Law Of Attraction say's it can be that easy. Oh, Julie, COME ON STOP BEING AN ASS-TURD!  Jeepers, no need to call names. I know,  maybe I'm being stupid, or am I? I don't know! Hey me, stop tormenting me!

That's the dialogue in my head. But for the sake of my YOLJ project I'm not listening to the skeptic, so I guess I am gonna be an ass-turd.  The idea is for me to test the Law Of Attraction theories to see if they work. So basically I'm being an ass-turd so you don't have to. You're welcome.

So I did, I bought a lottery ticket. The laws of attraction say that if I can get myself into a place of non-resistance and focus on the feeling of what having $40 mil feels like, but without feeling the absence of the it. Meaning I should get into the feeling just for the fun of it, and not for the actual manifestation, that if I do that what I want must manifest. You know what?  I'm not explaining it too well, If you are interested, you can go to this link and hear it explained by Esther Hicks (it's in two parts, this link is part one).  http://www.lawofattractioninteraction.com/lottery.php#

My pledge to you is,  if I win, oops, I mean when I  win, I'll buy you all cars. (I'm talking to YOU my actual followers who've clicked, "follow", if you want a car, you know what has to be done!). So why don't you all imagine driving in the car I'm going to buy you. Isn't it fun? That's right, you're driving on a country road, going slightly over the speed limit, wind in your hair, favorite CD playing and LOOK OUT! Your car is on fire! Get out, get out, get out!!  Okay, so I gave you a 1997 Hyundai Accent with a tricky ignition, I didn't say I'd buy you a NEW car...greedy.

I reiterate, LOA says that if you can get yourself into the feeling, the state of mind, as it were, of what it would be like to have what you want, without feeling the absence of what you are thinking about, then it must come. I'm using this whole year for testing out this theory.

Today I'm going to imagine having $44,000,000. I'm going to write down who I'm giving money to and where I'll travel and all the friend's rents I'll pay, and how great it will feel when I'll finally own that army of robot dolphins. I'll let you know when and where to pick up your cars.

Quickly (or not) I'd like to share with you, how I feel LOA has been working for me recently. I wrote in an earlier post that we are in the process of looking to buy a house, we've been at it for a year now. But since I've started this blog project I've been doing a lot of deliberate focusing, esp. about the house and getting into the feeling blah, blah, blah.  Well suddenly we have two places available to us.  One we think we can afford and the other we think is above our range. (I PROMISE I'll get to the THINKING & BELIEVING part of LOA later). I've talked about the Los Angeles house before and that it's above what we wanted to spend. But I began deliberately focusing on the house anyway. The first thing that happened, that felt sort of miraculous, is that the house, which was on the market only 5 days, dropped by $80,000. Eighty grand after only 5 days? That is unheard of.  Is this LOA at work? Is it an actual manifestation of my deliberate focusing? I don't know. But it feels like it to me and I choose to believe it is. So anyway, even after the price dropped we still felt that  it's above what we can afford. But  not to be deterred  I kept focusing and imagining the joy of living in the house and this past Wednesday we got a call from someone saying that they'd advance us whatever extra money we needed to purchase the house.  Again, LOA?  Now though it's a matter of, can we pay this person back?  Still  I will not be deterred. I'm not going to worry about that now and just keep focusing on the joy of the house and trust that if I keep doing that, with no resistance, the answer (or loan free money) will come, it will all be revealed. Today we're going back to look at the house, just for fun. I'll let you know how it goes.

I'm A Poser

So, I haven't quit my stupid ass cleaning job yet. The plan was to do it July 1st and start filling my time with joyful wonderful fun activities and then share with you guys about how filling my time with joy is making good things happen for me, and how all the things that I want are coming to me, because I'm focusing on joy. Then I postponed it to, I'll quit at the end of the summer, thinking, okay THEN I'll be in a better place, a better vibrational place to quit my job (Law Of Attraction says that we are more vibrational than we are physical). WHAT THE F AM I WAITING FOR? I mean for cripes sakes, my whole post yesterday was about lining up with what want! I'm sorry I'm shouting at you, but it's me I'm shouting at. I'm all, (please, while reading the following quotes use an annoying, whinny voice in your head) "line up with it" and "if you line up with what you want, everything will be okay...blah, blah, blah". What a freaking poser I am! Here I am writing a blog about how I'm gonna quit my job and live more joyfully and I haven't done it yet, because I'm scared.

Yes, it's true, I have been working on doing more joyful things. AND I've been working on choosing better feeling thoughts and yes I've been trying to focus my way into getting things that I believe will make me happier (house, money, a robot dolphin, etc). But again, the ONE thing, the BIG thing, the REASON for this whole Year Of Living Joyously blog was about quitting my job, the job that takes up much of my time and energy, the job I don't necessarily enjoy (sometimes it's okay, I try to be Zen about it) and start doing things that make me feel good instead (writing, hiking, performing, riding robot dolphins,etc.).

I'm scared. Today I have two cleaning jobs and although I'm appreciative for the money, but it's not how I want to make my money or spend my time. And I truly do feel that as long as I hold myself in this place, the place where I think I need to work a job I don't enjoy to make a living, then the things I want won't come to me.  So I'm making a pledge to myself and to you, I will quit my job this Sunday at 1 pm (after cleaning Mike's place, he's sweet, I don't want to leave him in the lurch). Then Sunday at 2pm, Chip and I are going to drive to wine country and go wine tasting, because THAT kinda shit makes me happy.

Line Up With It Yo!

The Law Of Attraction (LOA) says that there are no wrong decisions, that if you make a decision, as long as you 'line up' with it, then it will be the 'right' one.  So then why when I sold my cow for some magic beans did it turn out so badly? Because I didn't line up with it, that's why. If I did, I could be living in the sky with a golden goose and a dead giant. How does one 'line up' with something? I think I've figured it out.

My husband and I are in the process of looking to buy a house. We began looking in Los Angeles, but have discovered that the houses here are more expensive than we 'think' we can afford, (I put think in quotes because it's all about belief, I'll get back to that another day). So anyway, we opened up our search to the Boston area (where we are originally from). We've owned investment property there before. The houses are more in what we "think" is our price range (Again, it's all about what we believe we can afford).  So here is the dilemma, okay not a dilemma, but our choice; Do we buy the house we saw this past weekend in Boston, that is within our "price range" and keep renting the place we live in here in L.A.? OR do I wait to see if the house that I REALLY love in L.A., (which is $100,000 more than we planned to spend)  If I want the latter, I'm gonna have to do some serious focus work and trust that no matter the  amount of money it costs, it will be ours. Then I started thinking, well if it's all about focusing, then why can't I have both houses? Why can't I have 10 houses??  But I digress, we're talking about lining up right now.

So here is the thing; Whether we buy the Boston house or the L.A. house is of no matter, what matters is, whatever we choose, we have to LINE UP with it. (well I have to, my husband doesn't necessarily believe in the whole LOA thang, I'm lining up for two). Lining up with something means that I get to decide that whatever choice we make IS the right choice. Lining up is about making a choice and then looking for the positive aspects of that choice. For example, The Boston house is close to everything and public transportation. It's old and still has all the great original moldings and heavy doors, it's also in really good shape. It has two porches and a playground across the street. The Boston property will garner enough rent to give us a positive cash flow. We've been absentee landlords for almost 10 years and it's always worked out for us amazingly well and I believe it will keep working out for us.

On the other hand if  if we buy the L.A. property, I will find all the positive aspects of THAT house. It's amazingly beautiful and brand new everything. The yard is ENORMOUS! It has 3 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms, I've never had a house that big and beautiful. I will have huge parties! It's big enough that we can move my in-laws in with us if need be. And although it's above our believed price range, I need to trust that, if I line up with it, the money will come and I don't need to worry about how it will come. So either choice is the RIGHT choice, just by the mere fact that I've decided it is. Wow, that feels so good. It feels powerful. It's almost like being able to foretell the future.

You know what? I just realized something. I've always had amazing luck with cars. I used to brag about this to people. I'd tell them that when I bought a car, I had to have a feeling about it. All that feeling was, was me 'lining up' with what I wanted, right?  And when you line up with something, LOA says it MUST work out. Now that I think of it, this has been true about other major purchases in my life. Conversely when I've regretted a purchase and felt conflicted about it, such as them damned magic beans,  it doesn't seem to work out as well. I just got lamo beans, sure beans are good and good for you, but DUDE, not as good as a magical golden sky goose! Hmm, so LOA has been working on me all along and I didn't even realize it. Line up and magic happens, don't line up and all you get is beans. So line up, my bitches, line up! 

Don't Be 'The Dink'

Baz Lurhman says, worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. Intellectually I 'get' this. So then why do I still try and balance my checkbook by munching on a piece of Bazooka?  

Worry. Fear. Doubt. Why are those feelings more accessible to me than say, Hope, Courage, Confidence? WHY? I mean, they're all just emotions.  Why does it seem easier to go negative than positive? Why do you, for example, never hear anyone saying, "I was awake all night with HOPE!". Wouldn't it be great to say one day, "I woke up at 3 am with my brain buzzing about how GREAT EVERYTHING IS GOING!" or "I couldn't stop thinking about how I HAVE SO MUCH EXTRA MONEY!" or "I was awake for an hour thinking, I ALWAYS SMELL LIKE FLOWERS!" or even, "THAT THING I SAID TO THAT PERSON ABOUT THAT THING, WAS SO CLEVER AND SO SPOT ON, I DON'T WISH I SAID ANYTHING ELSE! .

A good friend told me a story about how she went on a tour of Alaska with a friend and the whole time the friend worried about getting ripped off as a tourist. So my friend, we'll call her Denise, because that is her name, Denise said, from now on I've made a promise to not be "The Dink" in any situation.  I think those are words to live by. Don't Be The Dink. And if you find yourself being a Dink? Stop it. No one likes a Dink, not even other Dinks.

So I'm gonna try (at least for today) to access the positive feeling rather than the negative.  I invite ya'll to try it too (Don't ya'll find my down-home speak preciously adorable?). If you do, (try accessing the positive I mean) will you let me know how it goes? COME ON, don't be a dink, just try it.  

Trying To Live Joyously is Friggen' Hard!

Trying to live joyously is friggen hard!  Every time I find myself going to a place of fear or doubt, whether it be, "what am I going to do for more money?" OR "Why did I eat that thing, now I'm fat!" OR "my ass is wet because I'm sitting on a bench that has probably just been pee'd on by a homeless person!", I have to stop myself and remember the abundance in my life. It's all about searching for the better feeling thought.  So if I find myself worrying about my ass getting fat, I think instead, "well at least I have a fat ass, because some people don't have an ass at all" Can I get a what what?

What I do find difficult and forgive me if I'm repeating myself, but what is difficult is not letting other people's worries and fears trickle into my own head.  For instance, right now I'm in Maine sitting  on a dock over-looking the most beautiful lake in the universe, staying at the most beautiful inn in the universe (The Kawanhee Inn, Weld Maine in case you were wondering) and there is the faintest smell of hickory smoke from the fires in the cabins. No the cabins aren't ON fire, the fires are in the fireplaces :).  So anyway, t'other night there was a very brief  (& exciting) severe lightening & thunder storm and the power went out in the whole town.  This meant that for a day and a half we had no lights or water (couldn't flush the toilet, etc). Candles were scarce and it's REALLY dark up here in the woods.

So there we all were, standing in the lobby, thankfully the bar was still open! But there was this gentleman staying at one of the cabins and he was having trouble coping with the fact that we had no power. All evenign long he kept walking around, complaining to everyone he met, "I can't believe they don't have a generator!" and lamenting that his food might go bad in the refrigerator and that he couldn't take a shower and, "I can't believe they don't have a generator!" blah, blah, blah.  I had to get away from this guy, it was starting to affect how I was feeling. So I went outside and what I noticed was how amazingly bright the stars were. I guess, with all the ambient light from the buildings, they never seemed as bright. It was breath taking. Then in the a.m., when the complainy dude was cursing for not being able to have coffee or a hot breakfast, my husband and I decided to venture out into the little town to see if anyone had power and wouldn't you know it, the little bakery up the street was open and everyone from the town was there!  I've never had more delicious cinnamon cake. We got to meet the "mayor" and other town-folk. We learned about all the fun things to do in the area the tourists don't know about.  It was truly a gift. And it would never have happened if the power hadn't gone out.

So, I suppose the old adage is true, miracles can happen if you just let them. We saw miracles where the complainer only saw problems. I'm not patting myself on the back or anything (I would pat myself on the back but I have cruelly short arms) Seriously though, believe you me, I can complain with the best of them. Do NOT try to out complain me, you'll just end up complaining about how I'm such a better complainer than you are.  But mark my words, MARK THEM, I SAY, from now on I'm gonna try to look for the miracles in what seems like bad situations OR at least relax and let the miracles happen. Like I said 'afore, it's all about searching for the better feeling thought. Why feel bad when you can feel good?  I know it's HARD, but don't be an asshole, just try it!

Okay, I'm off to see the manager to let the him know about the broken toilet in our room. It's not complaining, it's just good hygiene!

Currently Betwixt Jobs

I'm not 'out of work', I'm between jobs. I'm on hiatus, I'm looking at my options, I'm exploring new horizons, I've decide to take some time off, I'm deciding to spend more time with my TV. I've decided that my life's purpose is to watch as many cat videos as possible in a 24 hour period, it's important work, don't judge me.

So, yes I quit my job, because I have this wacky notion that quitting a job that doesn't give me joy and instead filling my days with things that do give me joy, will  bring me a job I really enjoy. So I guess if someone asks me, "So Julie, what are you working on these days?", I'm gonna say "Oh my God, Michael Jackson is behind you with a knife and he looks like he means business!" then I'll run in the other direction. Because that will feel better to me than saying, "Oh, I'm vibrating my way to a new career". If I say that, a person might be inclined to ask, "oh you're going into the porn industry?" and then add, "aren't you kind of old for that?". So it's better to just make the person think that they are about to be killed by Michael Jackson who has returned from the dead, than to explain my whole, Year Of Living Joyously thang.

So I've been trying not worry about money  not worry about how it will come. I'm trusting that it will come and come in joyous ways and I don't need to wonder how or where it's coming from. I have to feel abundant now, in order to let more abundance in later. This is of course my understanding of the Laws Of Attraction. That said, Chip (my husband) and I got a call t'other day asking us to come audition for a new game show where we stand to win $100,000. Okay, weird right?

We've never done anything like this before. We don't hop the 'game show' circuit or anything. We don't look to be on game shows. But someone sent us a link, we filled out a form and today we're going in. Listen, I'm not saying "LOA is at work, see???" I'm HOPING it's LOA. It is LOA right? Isn't it?  Is it? WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME??? Oh, sorry.  Who knows. I guess when we come home with $100,000, THEN I'll be all, "It's working, it's working!" with no doubts, but now I'm still skeptical. Okay, this is when I LOA says I have to be all, "we are already abundant, I'm only going to this audition to experience the joy of it! I'm not doing it for the money, because we have plenty of money". I'm NOT supposed to think, "oh it would be nice to have that $100,000 that we don't have". I'm SUPPOSED to think, "oh it would be nice to have that $100,000 that we already have and don't really need, but it would be cool to have another $100,000 to keep the $100,000 we already have, company". OR I'm not supposed to think about it at all. Which is probably going to be easier.

So today, I will go to an audition for a game show that is looking for" fun energetic couples!" just for the fun of it, and maybe I'll be energetic, maybe I won't, I'll be whatever feels better.. And maybe we'll win $100,000 or maybe we won't. Either way, everything is always working out for me, whether I know it or not.